Fix This Sentence....Stat!

The Paramedic Method is quite the tool to have in a writer's arsenal.  Ultimately, using this method will make sentences easier to read.  Sentences that are easier to read will be more persuasive.  Most of the research that I have done recommends seven steps to improve one's sentences.  The first step is to circle the prepositions (of, in, about, for, into, unto.)  Next, draw a box around the "is" verbs forms.  Ask, "Where's the action?"  The fourth step is to change the "action" into a simple verb.  Fifth, move the doer into the subject ( Who's kicking who.)  The sixth step is to eliminate any unnecessary slow wind-ups.  The final step is to eliminate redundancies. 

I've found some very long sentences ranging from 100 words to an impressive 40,000 word sentence.  By impressive, I mean why is there a 40,000 word sentence?  I choose one that was long but not too long.

The point I wish to make is that perception is the process of extracting information from stimulation emanating from the objects, places, and events in the world around us. 

The revised sentence using the Paramedic Method:  Perception extracts information from objects, places, and events.

Excessive writing can be good for getting ideas out and for rough drafts, but for the final paper, I will be using the Paramedic Method.  I feel that I have a decent idea of how to write using this method.